Everyone wants shortcuts, and no one should be using them. 

In the last few weeks I’ve come across more and more people looking for “quick tips” or “best practices” for how to market and reach their customers. But the more they talk, the more I realize what they actually want is a shortcut. Something that gets them there faster. Something that makes it easier or simpler.

The problem is that marketing is relationships, and relationships are complicated.

If someone asked the internet, “What’s the best way to get someone to fall in love with you?” they’d likely find links to dozens of articles and videos that gave them all kinds of quick tips and tricks.

H. L. Mencken said, “Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem — neat, plausible, and wrong.” 

What kind of person do you want to fall in love with you? Assuming it works, what kind of person do you want to be that makes them fall in love?

The magical dance of getting to know someone is something that shortcuts make worse. 

Desmond Morris’s 12 stages of intimacy describe the natural progression of physical closeness between two people, moving from “eye to body” and “eye to eye” through stages like “hand to hand,” “arm around shoulder,” and “mouth to mouth,” ultimately culminating in full physical intimacy. Morris argued that couples bond most securely when they move through these stages in order without skipping steps, since each stage builds the trust needed for the next.

Marketing to your customers is the same.

They need time to work through the steps of getting to know you until they think of you with affection. They need to grow into a sense of fond familiarity with you. Only then will you be the person they think of when they finally need what you provide.

But there’s another part to this that most people don’t mention.

Skipping to the end misses out on all the fun parts. The journey of growing intimacy and connection is the whole point of being in a relationship with other people. Standing on the top of a mountain and enjoying the view is fine. The journey to the top of the mountain is the part where all the memories are made.

Be willing to take the long path. Stop looking for shortcuts. The journey is worth it.

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