You’re not a pickle, so why are you acting like one?

My Partner, Ryan Chute, sent me this clip of John Oliver ranting over a compilation of car dealer ads where the owners, dressed in pickle costumes, quote the same cheesy line about being “in a pickle” and needing to move inventory. A multitude of dealers, same pickle suit, same pickle line.


Like most of us, John Oliver recognized the syndicated campaign as a charlatan’s Dog-and-Pony show. But I doubt the people at the dealerships saw it that way.

In the bizarre automotive sales world, these kinds of gimmicky cookie-cutter campaigns are the preferred customer clickbait—either that or plastic spokespeople spewing “best inventory, lowest price” clichés. Making matters worse, they suffer an obsessive fixation on hitting month’s end numbers, resulting in a “buy or die” stench that keeps prospects from ever coming back.

Is it any wonder a Gallup poll from last year ranked car salespeople only slightly behind telemarketers and Congress members as the nation’s least trusted professionals?

So why the pickle suits and cliché-belching mannequins?

Is it because they’re worried nobody would ever step on their lot if they knew the dark underbelly of car sales? Maybe they believe this is how car dealers are supposed to “stand out”?

For those car dealers who refuse to subscribe to “cringy,” there is a better way.

Let’s suppose for a moment you’re running a legitimate and ethical dealership. The kind you’d be okay with your grandma shopping at.

You could actually tell an astoundingly entertaining, endearing, and empathetic story that would have people willingly step into your gravity well.

Now, you wonder, what true story could I tell about me and my dealership that isn’t boring, self-serving, or heck…interesting?

I got you, fam.

Wizard of Ads™ is America’s only local agency with national buying power. Not only can we build you a killer marketing strategy, but we can write all your (original) ads, and we can place it on tv, radio, and billboard for less than you can.

Exciting, right?

“All things being equal, people want to buy from people they know, like, and trust. All things being not so equal, people want to buy from people they know, like, and trust.”

– Jeffrey Gitomer

You know you’re not going to win the game on digital alone.

You know your local brand is overshadowed by the national OEM.

You know you’re going to need to do something different to drive leads for sales and service if you want more than just your fair share.

And you know (better than most) that advertising is the tax you pay for being unremarkable.

Your great service is the reason people pay the premium you charge.

Now all you need to do is let people know that you’re the real dill.

Let us tell your story for you. It’s a good one.